Reluctance

There is a strange reluctance on the part of most people to admit that they enjoy life.And this is a fact.People want to be happy...want to enjoy...want to make the most out of life.Still they do not want to realize that it is possible they are happy in the very moment.That they can possibly already be enjoying life.People relish in their pessimism. To think that they are sad.Mere toys in the hand of fate..In the hopes of a better, brighter future they tend to forget the liveliness of the present,the beauty that the present holds and the immense potential of happiness with which the present strives to catch their attention.It is not until the present ceases to be the present,that is ..not unless it becomes the past that they perceive its beauty in the sense of nostalgia.

Unlove

It all started with a glance
A simple glance, a short one
That's how i feel it did
Days passed on with
The unwrapping of selves
Each day bringing me closer
To what i found in him
In every passing moment

He was so full of life
Better to be called life itself
The whole world moved
In an orbit around him
My soul making infinite circles
Around his heavenly self
I thought i knew him better
In there somewhere

Circles of time
Of his and mine
Met and intersected
To move faraway
Asking me to move
To Unlearn, Unlive and Unlove




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Desire

With so much of love in me

For the beauty that you are

O cold, unfeeling death

You are so near

Your presence so felt

In everything around me

And yet so unreachable you are

In this perennial attempt

To reach you

What will come out...

Of our union

Out of your cold grasp

Over my arms

Out of your steel look

Over my self

Out of your icy kiss

On my cheek

The metal shines

The sharpness grinds

With all the grandeur

The shine finally makes

Its mark

On my desire 

To be yours forever...

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Rumination

 I am trying hard. I am sincerely trying my best.This is what I told him. He didn't believe me. I didn't believe in me too. I am still thinking about that. How does it feel when you find someone who knows you - in and out ? When you feel you can't hide anything from him. When you are surprised to see that he can explain you better than yourself. How do you feel when you see your ' self ' in his eyes? Just as a doctor, he understands your ailment even before you complete describing your symptoms.For me, its like constantly standing infront of a mirror or having two selves.Something which you can never evade. Just as you can elude the whole world but can't elude your own self...To me, he meant that. How could I make him believe something that I couldn't believe in myself?

.......to be continued

Beauty

Beauty can never be defined, as the beauty of beauty lies in its essentially limitless nature... The feeling of no boundary leaves a kind of eternity with the idea of beauty.The feeling of never-never-ending..This may even account for the sacredness or the feeling of divinity associated with something that is beautiful.

Impression

We had been together
As birds of a flock
We had been close
As board to a chalk
We had shared
As friends in deed
We had been complete
As the hours on a clock
We had been us

For a while i stood still
Flashes of you moving
All over around me
Could i still say that
What was left of you
Was just an impression?

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The Music of Love

I heard my name

Being called out

A thousand times

Or thousands more

But never did it sound

So divine, so special

As it did when it came

From your lips

I saw me seen

By everyone around

Numerous times

Or numerous more

But never did it look

So sublime,yet so real

As it did when it came

From your eyes

I thought often

They needed me

Often when they

Said that they did

But never did i feel

So requited,so wanted

As when the truth in you

Reached me within.... 

To create the music called love

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Craft

That road still carries

The freshness you left behind

This morning still shows

The beauty you made me find

The grass beneath me here

That remembers you once stood

This is the very place

That you had once been

The stillness in the air

That i can feel now

That was also there

Then when you made me

From scrap to metal

And then unto gold

I saw your craftsmanship grow

I, the craft, now complete

And left by myself

In this wonderful place

That you made me discover

To bask in my own glory

The halo of which is only

The consequence of your travail

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Inbox

Tryst with my destiny continued

As i flipped through life's pages

Sunny emotions dampened

By cloudy skies sans sun

And sleepless nights tormenting

As i fought with my turmoil within

Fumed within to find a respite

I searched for a pal

And got one who talked 

To me through mail 

Pleased with a downpour

In the scorching heat

I searched out my inbox everyhour

Somewhere to receive letters

Usually in an envelope

Through post delivered

Addresssed in detail

With more detail within

The details within

Getting lesser and lesser

With each passing day

Until one such day 

When there was no more

Of anything left to hold

Within or without

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Midnight Dreams

All the glitter and glamour
Of the day spent away
I toss myself on a bed
Hard and damp
From constant wear n tear
Trying hard to build
Castles in air
Whose potential's unknown
Eagle-eyed i try to capture
My Midnight dreams

The modern woman that i am
So much secure about me
Nothing in the world
Can shake my faith
In the faithlessness
That i carry on and around
Trials and tempests fail
To jolt my fidelity to my false truth

Deserted by rest
I drag my restless thing
Called body, out of the sheets
Which are saturated with
The sweat of my remorseless guilt
I dab on some cologne and straighten
My otherwise straight hair
Bend my mirror to find me appealing

As the clock strikes four
And eluded by my midnight dreams
I reach for my palmtop
To break in on my ex's ex's
Who i am sure would be
Gratified to have a healthy chat
On the topic of common interest
In the interest of world peace



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Somehow

Somehow something somewhere in me

Went to look out something outside

Searching earnestly for that something

Which couldn't be searched within

The void within trying hard to search what

It could never be by itself

Believing in that somewhere someday

It will find its complement

'Coz losing it sans effort 

Could have been

The most cruel of things

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I have to go

It was spring
And a beautiful season it was
Something that reminded me
That life is beautiful
When it comes with colour
With sprawling grasses
And green trees
And more of greenery everywhere

Exhibiting vibrant shades
Would be nature
So happy it seemed
And making me happy also
All the while...
With rhymes inducing nostalgia
And visages pure
And more of purity everywhere

Spring goes...it has to go
And i have to go
To greet a new season
Though nothing can replace spring
You may say its just a season
But it is not, certainly
Days piled together

I have to go
I know i have to
But i know the essence
Of Spring will last forever..
With me, in my soul.

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Carriage

Wheels rolled down, the winding road

Carrying on them, a carriage's load

Through the carriage's window, emerged a pretty face

Of a little girl,who had a doll in her embrace

Her name's Rose, a little girl she was

She was the darling, of the one's living

In the house, atop the hill

The house echoed, with the charming laughter

Of little Rose, with each ray of sunlight

Heard at times, would be the tinkling of bells

The breaking of clay dolls, at some other

At eating table, the clatter of spoons

And that of forks, behind all of which

In her happy self, would always be Rose 

A little doll for all, the princess of all eyes

The rose of every heart, the sweetheart of every soul

So lovable for all, so loved by all

She was like life, to all around her

Today as she proceeds

On her journey, in her carriage

The people in the house

Do know deep in their hearts,

Though people around may not say so,

It is not final.

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Thank You Readers!

Each one counts

Each word counts

Thank You readers

Thanks a lot

Coz your pat

Has made me mount

The hill of joys

Where i always rejoice

Thanks a lot for being

A part of my happiness

A part of my journey

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Eternal

Looking at you

Looking at you

What i first saw

Was your eyes

But that in itself

Wasnt true...

Coz that was

Only what was

Apparent

And what was 

Seen really was

Your soul

Shining

And transparent 

As the pure crystal 

It was lovely

To see you love

Lovable to find

The way you loved

To be loved

Loving were 

Your ways...

To make me

Love you

Lost had i

My direction

In the roaring sea

When something

Dragged my self

Back to me

My dear Father

It was you

I wonder 

What i would've been

Without you

Life-less,soul-less,meaning-less

Like a guitar

Sans chord

In your absence

When i long to have

You before me

I ask myself

Don't i already have 

You

A constant flame

Burning tirelessly

To show me way

My soul surely longs

For the days 

Gone by

But still...

It doesn't miss you

The few moments

Of enlightenment

Were as long as

A lifetime...

I didn't understand

Forever

Unless i was forced

To search for it

At the end

to find that

It was eternally

Present

Sharing

''Share a laugh, share a shoulder, share a moment....

Share a joke, share a walk, share a feeling

And see the beauty of being together!''

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Aspirations

How often do we try to fly

When we know that we cant

How often do we try to sing

When we cannot even chant

How often do we try to run

When we know that we cant 

Even walk a few steps...

How often do we try n laugh

When we don't even feel 

That we can manage a smile

How often do we try to think

When its tough even to go blank

How often we try to sleep 

When we cant even shut the eyes

How often have we tried to hate

When its difficult to even stop loving

In all that we do, In all that we feel

The us in us is against our aspirations

The we in we against ourselves...

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Argosy

'Ahoy!!Ahoy!!', called my captain

‘Come aboard my mate, my friend

See my argosy's secure and steady

Its deck'd with all that sweat can tow

Ready with the world's finery to go’

‘Climb up the bulwark and see here

See what my ship has in it for you

Embark on its deck and feel in there

What hopes and aspirations carry its air

Full with efforts of past for the 'morrow’

‘Look at her beam and at her batten

Stable and strong to face any challenge

Look at her ballast,it will let you know

Strength,which carries her dead weight 

The draught underneath amazed at her’

‘Becalm your heart,there's more to her

Than appears to the eye...that sees what

Is shown,the surface oft carries beneath

More than what it seems it can have

The beauty of my dear lies in her mystery’

‘Wait to see my ship drift away from shore

Into the roaring sea,roaring with life n' love

Of trials,Of tests,Of a never say die thing

Of hopes,Of promises,to never die losing.

See when she moves,with pride of being 

…my  pride, my esteem ,my soul mate’.

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Liberation

Among those roses,marigolds

As they sat in that green arbour

Dignified silence of a listener

In response to a fervent talker

Words were merely devices

Even symbols a mere fiasco

Before the exchange that went

On... in the core called heart

She, the woman, went on saying

He, the man went on listening

The sympathetic eyes at one end

Beholding beauty at its perfection

The softness of what surrounded

Reflecting the calm inside the centre

Found where, peace and turmoil

Alongside in each others embrace

The world which they had seen 

Seemed to have come, to its end

Just as the old mouths had predicted

To be when, they said, it comes due

And yet visible to them there was

In the horizon the dawn of hopes

From the ashes of what they called 

The End,they sought a new beginning...

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Labyrinth

You may never understand

The beating of my heart

At the sound of your footsteps

The fluttering of my eyelids

At your sight..

You may never guess

The blood gushing fast in my veins

Just at your mention

You may never understand

Me.....my emotions

Or is it that i fail to understand you

That you understand me...

Or that you haven't made me feel

That you feel about me....

Or is it that i missed the fact

That you miss our being together..

Or is it that lost in the labyrinth 
Of my own emotions
I cud never find out

That you found me as one 

Who found something in me...

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Death of an Emotion

All of that what transpired there

On the banks of a certain river

Hard it was for them to withstand

With intoxication more than of sleep

Superlatives failed to describe

The depth of their emotions

Nonexistent they seemed to be

Yet utterly present everywhere

Life seemed the heaviest thing 

On earth to carry and move about

They felt, the soul should be taken away

Or crushed, thrown into the abyss of hell

The feelings of desolation, nothingness

And lowliness of guilt, with despair added

Saying something seemed like a crime

Nothing said, pricked even more

It was the death of an emotion

The road perhaps endeth there

.   

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Core

Abandoning his aberrant anticipations

He tried to grasp the abrasive luxury

Served to him on the platter of future

So much he had and yet so much less

A fulfilling landscape to a blind man's eye

The core of his essence lost in his storm

Lifting his washed out soul with his arm

He dragged himself into the gutted crowd

Fumbling for the past that could have been

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Nostalgia

It felt so good

To be under that huge mango tree

Standing with him

In that hot humid day

It was so hard 

To avoid his boyish grin

Scattered across the space 

That was between us

It seemed so divine

To giggle at his every expression

Sanctity of the emotions

Running in my heart

It appeared so marvellous

To just look at him,

Sauntering across 

The dirty meadows

It felt also satisfying 

To part ways and move on

Sail in different ships

Far and away from each other..

...so far away today 

But in the deep recesses of my mind

I can see my anchor 

Still intact...

Myself here,

Trying to relive my fallow past.

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The Last Rites

Whatever i had, in what i had

Comes to an end

This existence, of which little

I had been in, now abandoned...

Unabashed, i look at my back

With bated breath,

Waiting for my shadow to abate

The abduction, of what's inside me

Leaving behind my abbreviation

Is in itself, an aberration

What's outside,seems like babel

I search for my bacchanal guide

Who'd perform my last rites

The daemon in me, obtaining its dagger

For the final assault....

The world now seems rigmarole

With the reversal of my self

Now complete.

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Shifting Sands

Walking on the sands

Of a deserted shore

I see flashes of what

Once stood there..

Balloons suspended in air

Bouncing heartily

In the same manner

As their owners

Small feet of small boys

Making their marks

On the shifting sand

Scattering joy in the air

Hands of couples in love

With each other intertwined

Like two creepers

Reflecting the bond within

Wives and husbands

Sitting together

Under make-shift shades

Chattering about the world

..i find today no marks

No bond,no chattering

The void in the landscape

Haunts my mind

The beauty of nature

Still intact

On to which added

The ghastly silence...

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Give me a word

Give me a word

To think upon

When i have

Nothing in mind

Give me a word 

To pause and look

When the world's 

Moving too fast and blind

Give me a word 

To make use of

When i need 

To do it most

Give me a word

To get comfort from

When i am weary

From the deeds i have done

Give me a word

To caress my heart

When my heart

Aches with you apart

Give me a word 

To meditate upon

When my mind

Is rambling in the wild

Give me a word

For the sheer beauty

Of what the word 

Is by itself.... 

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Goodnight...

Its so simple for you
But its hard on me
To see what 
I never want to see

Its easy for you

But difficult for me
To be what
I never want to be

Its happy for you

But its sad for me

To feel good

When you set me free


Its so simple 
For you to say
Goodnight dear
And you go away
Its so hard 
On my part here
To think that

You'll never again be near...

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Masks

Shattered masks spill out coarse mud

Unveiling within a new bud

Feeling hesitant to come out

Is inside an innocence

Not ready to shout

A faith on a fragile thing

Is bound to end its being

Old flowers are bound to die

It isn't something

On one to cry....

Come out and see there's the sun

Standing outside is a new morn

Give it a try

For you shall never repent

A day which is well spent

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Serenity

I lay on my back

In the  mild coolness

Of a  summer evening

Infront of me

The vast expanse

Of the night sky

A big eucalyptus tree

hidding a part

Of me from the world

Looked as if

It was going to fly

Crickets jumped

From here to there

Some leaves rustling

In the breeze

Beckoning every

Little thing around

To come and dance

with the serenety

Of the time and space

Come on, they said

Come, give it a try..

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